The old wedding-invitation formula assumes a very specific world: a young couple, marrying for the first time, hosted by the bride's parents. When both partners have been married before and are divorced, that entire structure no longer fits, and the hosting question suddenly feels genuinely uncertain. Who requests the honor of everyone's presence when neither partner is a first-timer and there may be children, former spouses, and two sets of parents in the picture? The reassuring answer is that modern etiquette gives you real freedom here, and the most common choice is also the simplest.
The default: the couple hosts themselves
When both partners are divorced, the overwhelmingly common and etiquette-approved choice is that the couple hosts their own wedding. You are two established adults, likely with your own households and finances, and it is entirely appropriate for the invitation to come directly from you. Wording as simple as "Together with joy, we invite you to celebrate our marriage" needs no parental host line at all. This sidesteps every awkward question about which parents to name and quietly signals that this is a wedding of two grown people who have chosen each other with open eyes. For most divorced couples, this is the cleanest and most honest option.
Because a self-hosted wedding puts the wording entirely in your hands, it helps to see how it reads before you send. You can design one on InviteDrop and try a couple's host line in different tones until it sounds like you.
When you want to honor the children
Second marriages frequently involve children from prior relationships, and the hosting line is a graceful place to acknowledge them. If your kids are meaningful hosts of the day, in spirit or in fact, the invitation can come from them: "We invite you to celebrate the marriage of our parents." With adult children this is a genuinely touching gesture, letting the next generation stand up for a parent's happiness. With younger children, you might instead include them in the couple's own host line, "Together with our children, we invite you", which welcomes them into the family being formed without asking them to carry the formality of hosting.
When parents still want a role
Sometimes, even in a second marriage, one or both sets of parents genuinely want to host, or contributed enough that naming them feels right. This is allowed, though it is less common for divorced couples than for first weddings. If you go this route, you can name the hosting parents, but be thoughtful about symmetry: naming one partner's parents and not the other's can create an imbalance guests will notice. Often the cleanest solution when parents want recognition is a phrase like "together with their families" rather than a full list of names, which honors everyone without turning the host line into a genealogy.
Navigating former spouses and blended families
The presence of ex-spouses is the quiet complication behind this whole question, and etiquette's guidance is simple: the invitation is about the marriage you are entering, not the ones you left. There is no reason to reference former spouses anywhere, and self-hosting neatly avoids any implication about them. If your blended family is large and the guest list spans former in-laws and shared children, keep the host line focused and let the warmth show in the invitation body rather than in a complicated attribution. The goal is an invitation that reflects your present family, not a diagram of everyone's history.
Let tone match a second marriage
Beyond the mechanics of who hosts, a second wedding for two divorced people often carries a different emotional register than a first, more grounded, sometimes more private, frequently more grateful. Your host line and wording can reflect that. Many couples in this situation prefer understated, sincere language over grand formality, because it fits where they are in life. There is no obligation to replicate the pageantry of a first wedding, and a warm, self-hosted invitation in your own voice often feels truer than a borrowed traditional formula ever would.
Keep the guest list and RSVPs manageable
Second weddings often have complicated guest lists, blended families, close friends who have supported you through a lot, and sometimes a deliberately smaller circle. However you handle hosting, tracking who is coming keeps the logistics calm. A digital invitation with real RSVP tracking gives you one dashboard for the whole list, and the ability to add a private line to specific guests, which is useful when you are navigating sensitive family dynamics. Knowing your real headcount lets you focus on the celebration rather than the spreadsheet.
The bottom line on hosting
When both partners are divorced, you host your own wedding unless you have a specific reason to give the honor to your children or your families, and even then a warm "together with their families" usually beats a complicated list of names. Etiquette has loosened precisely so that people in exactly your situation can marry without contorting an invitation to fit an outdated mold. Choose the host line that reflects the family you actually have today, and let it be clear and warm. When you are ready to word it, design one on InviteDrop and send an invitation that speaks for the two of you.
