When you and your partner are footing the bill for your own wedding, the invitation gets to sound like you. There's no need to open with your parents' names in that long, formal cascade that traditional wording requires. Instead, you two are the hosts, the stars, and the voice of the invitation. That freedom is wonderful, but it also raises a genuine question: how do you word an invitation when the couple is hosting without sounding either stiffly formal or too casual for the occasion?
This guide walks through the exact phrasing, gives you copy-and-paste examples for a range of tones, and covers the tricky edge cases like partial parental contributions and second marriages.
The core structure of couple-hosted wording
Every wedding invitation, no matter who hosts, follows the same skeleton: a host line, a request line, the names, the date and time, the location, and the RSVP details. When the couple hosts, the host line is where things change most. You either name yourselves as the hosts or you skip the formal host line entirely and go straight to the invitation itself.
The most common and elegant approach is the phrase "together with their families." It acknowledges that your loved ones are part of this day without pretending anyone else is signing the checks. Here's the classic version:
Together with their families,
Jordan Ellis
and
Priya Nair
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
If you want to word it as coming purely from the two of you, you can drop the family line and lead with a warm request. This works beautifully for elopement-style parties, second weddings, or any couple who wants the invitation to feel personal. Once you've settled on your voice, you can design one on InviteDrop and see how the words breathe on an actual layout before you commit.
Formal couple-hosted wording
Formal doesn't have to mean your parents' names. You can keep the traditional cadence, the third-person voice, and the spelled-out date while still making yourselves the hosts. Use full names, spell out the year, and write out the time ("half after four o'clock").
The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Jordan Alexander Ellis
and
Priya Anjali Nair
Saturday, the fourteenth of June
two thousand twenty-six
at half after four o'clock
The Fairmont Gardens
Savannah, Georgia
Notice "the pleasure of your company" rather than "the honour of your presence." Traditionally, "honour of your presence" is reserved for ceremonies held in a house of worship, while "the pleasure of your company" fits everywhere else. If you're marrying in a church, temple, or synagogue, use the honour version.
Modern and relaxed couple-hosted wording
If formality isn't your style, lean into the fact that you're the hosts. First names only, contractions welcome, warmth encouraged. Here are a few that land well:
We're getting married!
Jordan and Priya invite you to celebrate with them
Saturday, June 14, 2026 at 4:30 in the afternoon
The Fairmont Gardens, Savannah
Or something with a little more personality:
After six years, a dog, and a very long apartment hunt,
Jordan and Priya are finally tying the knot.
Join us for the wedding of our dreams
(and the party of the year).
The rule of thumb: match the invitation's tone to the wedding itself. A backyard celebration with tacos and string lights deserves relaxed wording. A black-tie ballroom evening earns the formal treatment. When guests read the invitation, they should already have a sense of what to wear and what to expect.
The tricky part: when parents helped but you're still hosting
This is the situation that trips people up most. Maybe your parents contributed generously but you're the primary hosts. Maybe everyone chipped in. "Together with their families" is your best friend here because it honors everyone without ranking contributions or listing names in an order that might cause hurt feelings.
If you want to name parents specifically as a gesture of gratitude while still positioning yourselves as hosts, you can do it like this:
Together with their parents
Jordan Ellis and Priya Nair
invite you to share in their joy
as they exchange marriage vows
The key insight: naming parents in a warm, collective phrase reads very differently from the traditional "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Ellis request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter." The first says "our families support us." The second says "our parents are hosting." Choose the one that reflects reality, and when in doubt, talk to the people involved before you print anything. A quick conversation prevents a lifetime of "my name should have been on there."
Second marriages and blended families
When one or both of you have been married before, couple-hosted wording is often the most natural fit anyway. You're established adults hosting your own celebration. Keep it simple and joyful:
Jordan Ellis and Priya Nair
together with their children
request the pleasure of your company
as they begin their next chapter
Including children by name (or as a group) is a lovely touch that signals the day is a family union, not just a couple's event. Only do it if it feels right for your family; there's no obligation.
How to word the RSVP when you're the hosts
Since you're the hosts, the responses come to you, so make it easy on yourself. Traditional paper invitations include a reply card and a stamped return envelope, which means chasing down stragglers by phone and keeping a running tally by hand. That gets old fast.
Digital invitations simplify this. On your invitation, you can write something as plain as "Kindly reply by May 1" and let the RSVP happen with a tap. If you build your invitation on InviteDrop, guests respond directly and you watch replies land in a real guest dashboard, so you always know your headcount without maintaining a spreadsheet. That's genuinely useful when you're the one coordinating catering numbers and seating charts yourself. InviteDrop is free to start, and the animated envelope-open gives the digital version a little of the ceremony that opening a paper envelope used to provide.
Whatever you do, give a clear reply-by date and make it about two to three weeks before you need final numbers for your vendors. And if you're collecting meal choices or plus-one details, ask for them right there in the RSVP so you don't have to follow up twice.
Small wording details that matter
A few finishing touches separate a polished invitation from a rushed one. Spell out street names and states on formal invitations ("Savannah, Georgia," not "Savannah, GA"). Decide on "the pleasure of your company" versus "the honour of your presence" based on your venue. Keep your names in a consistent order across all your wedding materials so guests aren't confused. And proofread the date against a calendar; "Saturday, June 14" is only correct if June 14 actually falls on a Saturday.
One more thing: your invitation sets expectations. If it's black tie, say so. If children aren't invited, the wording ("we look forward to celebrating with you" addressed only to the adults, plus a clear note) should gently communicate that. Being the host means being the one who tells people what to expect, kindly and clearly.
Putting it all together
Hosting your own wedding gives you the freedom to write an invitation that actually sounds like the two of you, whether that's formal and timeless or warm and playful. Pick the tone that matches your celebration, use "together with their families" when you want to honor loved ones, and make your RSVP effortless to manage. When you're ready to see your wording come to life with an animated open and RSVP tracking built in, design one on InviteDrop and start free.
