What "hosting" means on a modern invitation
When both sets of parents are contributing to the wedding, the polite and increasingly common move is to name both families as hosts. On a wedding invitation, the names at the top traditionally belong to whoever is hosting, which historically meant paying. Today it is more of an honor than a strict accounting of the bill, but when both sets of parents are genuinely footing the costs, listing them together is the gracious way to acknowledge it. The main decisions you need to make are how formal to be and whose name goes first, and both are easier than they sound.
Seeing your families' real names in the layout makes the choice obvious, so it helps to try a couple of versions before you settle. You can design one on InviteDrop for free, type in both sets of parents, and compare the formal and relaxed phrasings side by side without committing to anything.
The traditional joint-host wording
The classic format lists the bride's parents first, then the groom's, each couple on its own line. It reads: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Bennett and Mr. and Mrs. Richard Cole request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children Olivia Bennett and Daniel Cole..." The word "children" is the elegant shorthand that signals both families are hosting the marriage of their respective son and daughter. Bride's family on top is the long-standing convention, rooted in the tradition of the bride's parents hosting, and it remains the default most guests expect.
If you prefer a slightly warmer but still formal register, you can use first and last names instead of the "Mr. and Mrs." construction: "Thomas and Margaret Bennett and Richard and Susan Cole request the pleasure of your company..." This keeps the joint-host structure while feeling a touch more personal, which suits a lot of couples better than the fully formal version.
Whose name goes first
Tradition puts the bride's parents first, and there is nothing wrong with following it. That said, plenty of couples today choose a different order for their own reasons, whether it reflects who did more of the planning, alphabetical fairness, or simply personal preference. If both sets of parents are contributing equally, the order carries less weight than it once did, and either family leading is acceptable. The one thing worth doing is making sure both families are comfortable with the choice, since name order is exactly the kind of detail a relative might notice. A quick heads-up prevents a small thing from becoming a hurt feeling.
Keeping it warm and inclusive
Many couples find the full listing of four parent names a little heavy, and there is a graceful alternative that still honors everyone. "Together with their families, Olivia Bennett and Daniel Cole request the pleasure of your company at their marriage..." puts the couple's names front and center while the phrase "together with their families" credits both sets of parents collectively. This is especially useful when you want to acknowledge everyone's contribution without navigating the exact order and titles of four separate names. It reads modern, it is inclusive, and it neatly sidesteps any question of whose family comes first.
A close cousin of this is "Together with their parents," which is a touch more specific if you want to make clear it is the parents, rather than a broader set of relatives, being honored. Both are widely used and completely correct.
When a stepparent or blended household is involved
If one or both sets of "parents" include a stepparent who is part of the hosting, you can still list them cleanly. Put each parent with their current spouse on the appropriate line, and if the arrangement gets long or complicated across two remarried households, the "together with their families" phrasing becomes even more appealing because it absorbs all of it gracefully. The goal is to reflect who is actually hosting without turning the top of your invitation into a genealogy chart. When in doubt, the inclusive phrasing is your friend.
Handling titles and surnames correctly
Use the names your parents actually go by. If a mother uses her own first and last name rather than "Mrs. Husband's-Name," write it that way. If a couple shares a surname, "Mr. and Mrs. Firstname Lastname" or "Firstname and Firstname Lastname" both work. The old requirement to render a married woman only by her husband's full name is no longer expected, and using the name a person genuinely uses is both more accurate and more respectful. Consistency helps too: if you use first names for one set of parents, use them for the other so the two lines match in tone.
When the two families are contributing unequally
A common worry is what to do when both sets of parents are paying but not in equal amounts. The reassuring answer is that the invitation does not, and should not, try to reflect the size of anyone's contribution. Naming both families as hosts is a gesture of honor and partnership, not an itemized receipt. If both sides are contributing meaningfully, listing them together is entirely appropriate regardless of who wrote the larger check, and no guest will ever know or care about the split. Trying to weight the wording by contribution would be both impossible and unkind.
If one side is contributing so little that they would be uncomfortable being presented as a co-host, the graceful fix is the inclusive "together with their families" phrasing, which honors everyone's involvement without formally casting anyone as a primary host. It lets you sidestep the accounting question entirely while still crediting both families.
A sample you can adapt
Here is a flexible template you can shape to your families. For a formal feel: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Bennett and Mr. and Mrs. Richard Cole request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children Olivia and Daniel, Saturday, the fourteenth of June, at four o'clock in the afternoon." For a relaxed feel: "With joyful hearts and the support of both our families, Olivia and Daniel invite you to celebrate their marriage." Notice the second version does the same honoring work with almost none of the formality, which is why so many couples gravitate toward it.
Get it right before you send
Joint-host wording lives or dies on the small details, name order, titles, and whether the phrasing feels like your families or like a stiff formula. The surest way to land it is to draft your favorite version with real names and read it aloud, then adjust until it sounds like you. You can design one on InviteDrop for free, enter both sets of parents, and rework the host lines as many times as you need before your first guest opens their animated envelope, so both families see themselves honored exactly the way you intended.
